I cry on my birthday every year. Yes, every single year lol. As abnormal as it seems a Google search and a phone call with one of my friends made me realise that other people do this also. Turns out that quite a few suffer with 'The Birthday Blues'. As you can imagine it was relieving to find out that I'm not the only one. Most people I know don't enjoy turning older but as we all know, it's the inevitable.
It's the 19th December and in exactly one month I will be twenty-one, as winter progresses I often feel down knowing that once the New Year hits, I will soon be poking another candle in the cake . Once upon a time I looked forward to 19th January because the 19th meant everyone being extra nice to me that day, it meant going to the shop with my mom the night before to pick up a box of chocolates to take to school, it meant shying away whilst everyone sang 'Happy Birthday to you' in my face.
At about 12 years old my disdain for birthdays developed and as you can see my Peter Pan syndrome has been going strong for the past eight years.
I recall making a blog post (see below) about three years ago basically noting down my worries about turning 18 and it's nice to see how much I've embraced ageing lol.
Pretty certain I will never embrace turning older which is what it is but it's gonna happen whether I like it or not.
I often ask myself...what exactly is it I want? Do I want to be twenty forever? Cos the only way that is gonna happen is if I die right now, GOD FORBID. I know people who have died young and I know I sound ungrateful...but I am grateful. I am glad to see another day/year.
And even if there was an alternative, the reality is although I want to stay 'young', I'm maturing mentally and emotionally. My interests and hopes are changing.
It's strange because my teenage years were quite terrible to be honest so why the hell do I want to hold on so bad?
I'm pretty sure it's because I wish I would have accomplished more at a young age. This is an issue I know so many of us struggle with as we feel like time is running out. We see people our age doing amazing things and wish we were in similar positions. And as much as we know that that is their journey and ours is essentially different, it's only natural to compare yourself.
(Image courtesy of Dear Korea)
If I had it my way I would have blown as a child lol.
Anyway, like most of my posts there isn't any sense of enlightenment at the end of this. I just like to rant :)
Anyway, how do you feel about turning older?
P.s.
It's actually funny how people apparently read my posts but don't comment so until someone does I'm gonna assume there's a glitch on the site and the views are fake.
It's the 19th December and in exactly one month I will be twenty-one, as winter progresses I often feel down knowing that once the New Year hits, I will soon be poking another candle in the cake . Once upon a time I looked forward to 19th January because the 19th meant everyone being extra nice to me that day, it meant going to the shop with my mom the night before to pick up a box of chocolates to take to school, it meant shying away whilst everyone sang 'Happy Birthday to you' in my face.
At about 12 years old my disdain for birthdays developed and as you can see my Peter Pan syndrome has been going strong for the past eight years.
I recall making a blog post (see below) about three years ago basically noting down my worries about turning 18 and it's nice to see how much I've embraced ageing lol.
Pretty certain I will never embrace turning older which is what it is but it's gonna happen whether I like it or not.
I often ask myself...what exactly is it I want? Do I want to be twenty forever? Cos the only way that is gonna happen is if I die right now, GOD FORBID. I know people who have died young and I know I sound ungrateful...but I am grateful. I am glad to see another day/year.
And even if there was an alternative, the reality is although I want to stay 'young', I'm maturing mentally and emotionally. My interests and hopes are changing.
It's strange because my teenage years were quite terrible to be honest so why the hell do I want to hold on so bad?
I'm pretty sure it's because I wish I would have accomplished more at a young age. This is an issue I know so many of us struggle with as we feel like time is running out. We see people our age doing amazing things and wish we were in similar positions. And as much as we know that that is their journey and ours is essentially different, it's only natural to compare yourself.
(Image courtesy of Dear Korea)If I had it my way I would have blown as a child lol.
Anyway, like most of my posts there isn't any sense of enlightenment at the end of this. I just like to rant :)
Anyway, how do you feel about turning older?
P.s.
It's actually funny how people apparently read my posts but don't comment so until someone does I'm gonna assume there's a glitch on the site and the views are fake.
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